Judgement and Gender Roles

On Tuesday night I discovered what someone I thought was my friend really thinks of me and my friends, and that they really aren't the sort of person I can have as a friend. It's sad, and it's angering.

The things that were said were making me think a lot about judgement. It's sad that some people feel the need to judge others. I wonder why they do it. I think a lot of the time it's because it makes them feel better about themselves, it's true that you often find the most judgemental people are ones that have a lot of problems themselves and their behaviour is often quite hypocritical. What is also sad is some of the things that people use against others and things that they judge them for.

Another issue that has come up is one that's very important to me. That of gender equality and destructive gender stereotypes and roles. I think it's so sad that people in this day and age are still holding on to outdated, ridiculous and destructive ideas. I feel so strongly about these ideas because as a male who has never been average, who has never fitted into the mould, I've been through some very difficult periods regarding things that people have expressed to me and around me regarding boys that don't fit into the mould; one of the earliest of these I remember was me not being good a sport and being unable to perform the simple action of catching a ball. Just a simple thing like this, that should have no bearing at all on the way people treat me affected me all through school and even still does today because people STILL EXPECT boys to love sports and are SURPRISED that some do not. It astounds me. This is just one little example of this issue, it's the same for all the other things that boys or girls are supposed to do, but when they don't they can be outcast by many and be made to feel extremely excluded and as though there is something WRONG with them. Being made to feel as though you have something wrong with you when you don't can be extremely destructive to a human being, I'm hardly an expert, but it just isn't healthy.

I realised some time ago that it's okay, and actually a very good thing to be an individual. These days I actually like not fitting into the mould, I like being different, I like my individuality, and I like having the right to express it however I choose. Being told that people "don't agree with the way I am" is still upsetting to me, but just because of the fact that people are still holding on to ridiculous and quite frankly wrong ideas of gender roles. And now I come back to judgement, I hate being judged for using my rights as an individual. I have been judged for (amongst other things) the fact that I have been known to go around with nail polish on; it doesn't matter that it had only been done to me by my friend for a laugh, the fact is if I choose to wear nail polish then it's my right to do so. I think it's terrible, the things that people can say, not just about me, but about anyone who does something like this, these people that think things like this are so wrong. For some reason they can't see that it's their judging ways that are wrong.

It really boggles my mind!