Back

I'm back at my parents' for the summer now. I miss Lancaster, I miss having my own place. I also miss having unlimited downloads. I can't stream music here, like I'm used to doing all the time at home, or even watch much TV online. Oh well...

Only a couple of weeks til my birthday. I don't really want to turn 20. I like being a teenager, I like being young. I'm trying to get my sleeping pattern back to normal. This hot weather isn't helping. It's really difficult to sleep at night when it's hot. I like hot days, but I prefer the nights to be cooler, so I can comfortably sleep with a cover over me. Sleeping in bed without a cover, just doesn't feel right, somehow. I'd much prefer it to be cold at night, so I have to sleep with clothes on and a warm cover, I guess it's cos that's what I'm more used to. Hmm, next summer in Spain and France should be interesting...

The time to move abroad is getting closer too. I now don't have to get a plane, because my parents are going on holiday the week I'm due to leave, so I'm going down to France in the car with them, staying for a couple of nights, and then getting a train from Béziers to Barça, and then from Barça to Lleida. I still don't have anywhere to stay, and that's the thing that's worrying me the most. But hopefully it shall be sorted out soon. Just waiting for some emails. I need to check if my application has arrived at the uni yet too... it cost quite a lot to send it by tracked delivery. Hopefully once that gets there they will send us more info about stuff.

BadOut

Yo quiero que tú sufras lo que yo sufro
y aprenderé a rezar para lograrlo
yo quiero que te sientas tan inútil
como un vaso sin whisky entre las manos
y que sientas en tu pecho
el corazón
como si fuera de otro
y te doliera.
yo te deseo la muerte
donde tú estés
y aprenderé a rezar para lograrlo
yo quiero que tú sufras
lo que yo sufro
y aprenderé a rezar
para lograrlo

Yo quiero que te asomes
a cada hora
como un preso asomado
por tu ventana
y que te sean las piedras de la calle
el único paisaje de tus ojos.

yo te deseo la muerte
donde tu estés
por dios que y aprenderé a rezar
para lograrlo.

-Albert Pla "Sufre Como Yo"

Aha

Not being able to say what I really want to say. That's what I'm not liking. Not telling. And also reading crap which I hate but somehow find compelling. You know when you hate something, but just can't stop yourself from being so amazed by it that you continue to watch it? There's just no need to talk rubbish really, is there? No need for lies. No need to say things that have no basis in truth. No need to say things that are just a load of rubbish.

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"Tan a prop un dels altres
I estem sols com a casa,
I sempre hi haurà un incendi,
Que mai s’apaga.

I no recordo cap dia
On no hi hagi mentides,
I busco el Nirvana,
I tot passa de llarg...

Sol,
Torno sol,
Quan tomba el sol,
I no m’has mirat
Sempre em passes davant."

-Ivette Nadal

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Xk puc

Esta molt be poder parlar altres llengues xk puc dir moltes coses que no entenen. Ja et faig por? I quan faig servir uns abreviacions i no faig servir accents ho fa mes dificil per la gent de traduir el que dic ^_^ (I tambe que no parlo perfectament!)

Algunes persones son molllt molt i molt estranyes. I probablament no canviaran mai. Tambe haig de recordar que aquestes persones no veuran mai com jo veig coses, i com estranyes son elles mateixes.

(insereix alguna cosa aki)

Xk la gent diu mentides? Com pot persona A estar tan intim amb persona B, persona B no es res excepte un/a amic/ga molt be, persona A...awhiehweorbfk bfkhi. No entenc. Vull mostrar als altres quin tipus de persona es el/la seu/seva amic/ga

The real you

I mean the unpleasant side of you that is usually hidden, but overrides things that happen with the more pleasant side of you.

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I want to tell you a story

Just an ant

How can someone say "I love [somebody]" and then completely disregard them like an ant crawling on their arm, which they flick into oblivion?

Piano lesson

I've begun to learn a classical piece on the piano for the first time in years. And I cannot describe how amazing it feels. For the past couple of years, since I stopped piano lessons I stopped daily practice habits, and just enjoyed playing freely. But recently I came into possession of some sheet music and decided I would practice properly, just like I had to in the old days. Even after just a couple of days I'm amazed at the progress I have made with it, and I was even be able to play a Debussy piece, which a couple of years ago I was playing a lot, because I performed it for an exam, but over the many months it went out of reach of my fingers. It feels so good to have it back within my grasp.

I love the piano. I wish I could show you the plane it takes me to.

Classic

I forgot the passion I had for Classical music. Well, it's actually mostly Romantic period, but most people know all Baroque, Romantic, Classical and even Modern Period music as "Classical". (I'm so glad for my A-Level in music, it introduced so much to me.)

...When I was young I would spend hours a day listening to it, while I lay in bed...

A friend of mine asked me to make a mix of Classical music I like. I was so excited to do so, so I've been listening to my music like never before. It's been so long since I've really listened to it like this. I wish I had all my CDs. I wish I had a bigger collection of this music, there is so much out there, and so many recordings of the so much that is out there. The mix has turned into a piano-focused one, since that's the kind of music I'm more into, know more about and have more of. I went through a load of recordings and bought some new recordings of pieces I l♥ve... I really love dramatic music, and music with fire. Fire of PASSION, dark fire, the burning flame of love.

Someone give me some money, pleeeease? I NEED to buy more Clara Schumann music, and then pay for some way to have her resurrected from the dead so she can write another piano concerto ♥.

To end, I would ask you to please watch this video, I never get tired of it. Clara Schumann is so overlooked, it is absolutley criminal. If you at all like piano music, dramatic music, or even are just interested in Women's History go listen to her Piano Concerto too. It's amazing (The final movement is so INTENSE, ask me about it, honestly). I do so wish that females weren't so overlooked in musical history. Anyway, here is the video: Rina Cellini playing Clara Schumann's Scherzo no. 2, Op. 14.

Maria del Mar Bonet

She's my favourite musician at the moment.

Her song Estrofa al vent came up on my last.fm and I loved it straight away, so downloaded her album Jardí tancat, since then I've been listening to her on we7 and Spotify. I can't get enough of her voice, and the fantastic soundscapes on her records. When I listen to her I can feel like I am in the Mediterranean, or with other songs, in a grand cathedral hundreds of years ago. She even crosses over to pop and blues with some albums. She is amazing. I don't know why she isn't more popular, she's obviously extremely gifted, I wish her CDs were easier to obtain here. Maybe when I move to Catalonia I'll be able to get my hands on more :D

La seva cançó Estrofa al vent es va reproduir al meu last.fm i em va encantar immediatment, doncs vaig descarregar el seu disc Jardí tancat, i des de aquest moment he estat escoltant a ella a we7 i Spotify. No puc escoltar prou a la seva veu i els sons fantàstics dels seus discos. Quan escolto a ella puc sentir com si jo estigui al Mediterrani, o amb altres cançons, com si estigui en una catedral grandiosa fa cents d'anys. Travessa a pop i blues en uns discos. Ella és excepcional. No sé perquè no és més popular, és evident que és una dona amb molt i molt talent, espero que els seus discos eren més fàcil a obtenir aquí. Potser que quan em traslladi a Catalunya en podré obtenir més.

Train

I fell off the exercise train probably about the same time I fell off the blog train. Uni was keeping me super busy and I jsut didn't feel like I had the time to exercise, I think it was just that I wasn't willing to make the time though, I got pretty lazy (Lazier than usual). Anyway, I've started doing it again, and I'm GONNA keep it up. Yes I am. Now I am free from exams I have no reason not to.

The weather here is really bright and warm today. It was actually nice to take a trip to the post office. I love the warm weather but I don't love the fact that with summer comes allergies. The hayfever pills keep them somewhat at bay, but they eat a little hole in my shopping bill, and still don't completely remove the problems. In other moans, my skin is also pretty bad recently, I hate my skin.

The time for me to move to Lleida is coming closer and closer. It's scary scary scary. But today I got the email of someone from my uni who has spent this year there, so I'm going to email him and ask a few questions, which will hopefully help me with it all. Next week is the Year Abroad prep course at uni, so hopefully that will be useful.

I need to go shopping, I have no chocolate or biscuits in the house. I really don't like being without sugary desserts. At least I have cereal and milk, I go crazy without that.

Tonight is party time.

I'm slowly tidying up my house. I hate moving.

Write

I spend so much time at this computer, I really don't have an excuse not to write more. I could sit here and make excuses and stuff, but I'm just gonna say that I'm gonna try and get back into the habit of writing more, because one of the reasons I started this was so I'd have something to keep everyone updated on me when I go live in Spain. So here I am, writing.

Today the weather was warm.

Recently's been crazy.

I think people don't really change, it's just that you come to see sides of them you didn't see before.