Thursday 25 November 2010
Losing an eye
It’s really hard to go out with a group of people, be the most intensely boring person and be powerless to do anything about it. …I am referring to the fact that my catalan/castilian group conversation skills have not improved very much. In one-on-one conversations I’m much better, I have improved a lot and am super-happy with my progress and ability to converse. But in groups of three or more I understand very little and say even less, and the more people, the more difficult it is.
It’s hard when you really want a good hug but you can’t have one because the vast majority of your close friends live over 800 miles away on an island. I really, really miss being around people who love me.
Oh yeah, so I went to Italy, it was really good. I loved the people, I loved speaking catalan with Italians, I loved the city, and the area, was absolutely gorge. Had a bit of a fail the day of our return. I’d arranged to meet with my professor at the hotel door at 7h50. Unfortunately I left my phone on silent, so it didn’t wake me up in the morning. So at 8h05, sleeping tranquilly, I hear a phone ringing, and I’m like “…què és això….???” and almost ignored it, but then suddenly felt fear that it would be somebody speaking in Italian on the other end (I don’t speak Italian) so I didn’t want to answer, then I remembered there was a guy in the hotel who spoke Algherese so I answered, and it was my teacher…
“Sí? Hola?”
“Hola, Joshua, són les vuit i cinc.”
“WHAT?? Oh my goodness!! M‘havia quedat dormido!!”
“Sí m‘havia imaginat, baixa el més ràpid que puguis, ei.”
“Sí! Perdona, perdona, perdona, perdona!”
“Ràpid, ei”
“Perdona, perdona, perdona!!”
If you really wanna know what it all means you can google translate it, except maybe my second part which is a mixture of my half-asleep head’s english, catalan and spanish. But yeah, basically my teacher telling me it’s 8h05 and I need to come down as quick as possible (as we had a plane to catch). But we made it, I just didn’t get to shower :/.
I’m gonna indulge myself a little more and continue the negativity. Yeah, I’m really trying hard to improve group conversation skills, but it’s so hard. And so when I’m there trying it just gets me down, then I want to talk even less, and then I start thinking everyone must hate me cos I’m so boring! I mean, I’m a difficult enough person to get to know as it is, (I’m usually very closed in case you hadn’t noticed) I find groups of people extremely difficult to deal with in England, never mind in Catalonia! Groups of people make me so nervous. And it's so hard to be be fun and enjoy yourself when you don't understand anything and can't say anything remotely interesting! I don't see how anyone could enjoy my company hahaha! SOW, yeah, it’s hard, and it gets me down. I’m not giving up though, just geting down about it, ha. I have the fact that I can hold half-decent one-on-one conversations keeping me going.
AND I didn’t like what I saw in the mirror tonight. I want new clothes and a haircut, and other things too. People like me annoy me.
It’s hard when you really want a good hug but you can’t have one because the vast majority of your close friends live over 800 miles away on an island. I really, really miss being around people who love me.
Oh yeah, so I went to Italy, it was really good. I loved the people, I loved speaking catalan with Italians, I loved the city, and the area, was absolutely gorge. Had a bit of a fail the day of our return. I’d arranged to meet with my professor at the hotel door at 7h50. Unfortunately I left my phone on silent, so it didn’t wake me up in the morning. So at 8h05, sleeping tranquilly, I hear a phone ringing, and I’m like “…què és això….???” and almost ignored it, but then suddenly felt fear that it would be somebody speaking in Italian on the other end (I don’t speak Italian) so I didn’t want to answer, then I remembered there was a guy in the hotel who spoke Algherese so I answered, and it was my teacher…
“Sí? Hola?”
“Hola, Joshua, són les vuit i cinc.”
“WHAT?? Oh my goodness!! M‘havia quedat dormido!!”
“Sí m‘havia imaginat, baixa el més ràpid que puguis, ei.”
“Sí! Perdona, perdona, perdona, perdona!”
“Ràpid, ei”
“Perdona, perdona, perdona!!”
If you really wanna know what it all means you can google translate it, except maybe my second part which is a mixture of my half-asleep head’s english, catalan and spanish. But yeah, basically my teacher telling me it’s 8h05 and I need to come down as quick as possible (as we had a plane to catch). But we made it, I just didn’t get to shower :/.
I’m gonna indulge myself a little more and continue the negativity. Yeah, I’m really trying hard to improve group conversation skills, but it’s so hard. And so when I’m there trying it just gets me down, then I want to talk even less, and then I start thinking everyone must hate me cos I’m so boring! I mean, I’m a difficult enough person to get to know as it is, (I’m usually very closed in case you hadn’t noticed) I find groups of people extremely difficult to deal with in England, never mind in Catalonia! Groups of people make me so nervous. And it's so hard to be be fun and enjoy yourself when you don't understand anything and can't say anything remotely interesting! I don't see how anyone could enjoy my company hahaha! SOW, yeah, it’s hard, and it gets me down. I’m not giving up though, just geting down about it, ha. I have the fact that I can hold half-decent one-on-one conversations keeping me going.
AND I didn’t like what I saw in the mirror tonight. I want new clothes and a haircut, and other things too. People like me annoy me.
Tuesday 23 November 2010
Mirall
So after talking to a friend I have begun to tell myself I'm beautiful when I look in the mirror in the morning. You should try it. I'm hoping that soon I will start to believe it.
Friday 5 November 2010
30 Days 30 Songs - Day 1 - Winter
So I’m doing this 30 days 30 songs challenge thing cos I heart music. I’m posting the songs on facebook each day, and then writing a blog about each one, which will probably come sporadically, rather than every day. Anyway, here’s a little about my favourite song:
Winter
(written, composed and performed by Tori Amos, orchestra arranged by John Philip Shenale)
I’m fairly certain this was the first Tori Amos song I heard. It was 2005 and I was in Chemistry class, which was my favourite class because I sat on a bench with my best friends and we always had such a fun time together, and we loved the teacher, who we dubbed “The Party Queen.” Anyway, my best friend had recently started listening to some artist I’d never heard of, who had influenced Amy Lee, called Tori Amos, and she was pretty obsessed with her. So she brought the CD into school with her, big CD walkman and everything (those were the days xD) and told me I HAD to listen. And she’s not the kind of girl you refuse when she tells you you have to do something :P. So I listened, and I was immediately struck by the beauty of the song, which is something that never happens for me on a first listen. I finished listening and told her it was really beautiful.
A few weeks later my friend made me a CD which included some of her favourite Tori tracks, Winter obviously being among them. I listened to that CD so much. She put some of the most gorgeous songs on it. The beauty of many of the earlier compositions and recordings of Tori Amos is indescribable. Winter is the most beautiful of all in my opinion.
From the very opening motif, beautiful. So delicate. And it stays in your head. Tori’s voice: so very delicate, almost childlike, yet so full of feeling and strength. Her internal anguish is so evident in the chorus, “you say that things change, my dear”. The gorgeous orchestration cannot be forgotten either: though the piano accompaniment can hold its own, the Little Earthquakes album version with the strings, horns and drum has a completely seperate dimension that isn’t present in solo performances. The instrumental climax leading to the third verse is breathtaking, and when I play the song on the piano, I always include the part played by the strings and horns, because it just takes me to another place, even higher than the piano part alone.
The lyrics. I can’t even begin to describe their beauty and meaning. The chorus goes like this:
“When you gonna make up your mind?
When you gonna love you as much as I do?
When you gonna make up your mind?
Cos things are gonna change so fast
All the white horses are still in bed
You say that things change,
My dear.”
That’s just a snapshot, the imagery used in the verses is fantastic, so evocative. I can’t even talk about it, you have to hear it. I urge you to go and listen to the song if you don’t know it. It is beautiful.
http://www.we7.com/#/song/Tori-Amos/Winter
(written, composed and performed by Tori Amos, orchestra arranged by John Philip Shenale)
I’m fairly certain this was the first Tori Amos song I heard. It was 2005 and I was in Chemistry class, which was my favourite class because I sat on a bench with my best friends and we always had such a fun time together, and we loved the teacher, who we dubbed “The Party Queen.” Anyway, my best friend had recently started listening to some artist I’d never heard of, who had influenced Amy Lee, called Tori Amos, and she was pretty obsessed with her. So she brought the CD into school with her, big CD walkman and everything (those were the days xD) and told me I HAD to listen. And she’s not the kind of girl you refuse when she tells you you have to do something :P. So I listened, and I was immediately struck by the beauty of the song, which is something that never happens for me on a first listen. I finished listening and told her it was really beautiful.
A few weeks later my friend made me a CD which included some of her favourite Tori tracks, Winter obviously being among them. I listened to that CD so much. She put some of the most gorgeous songs on it. The beauty of many of the earlier compositions and recordings of Tori Amos is indescribable. Winter is the most beautiful of all in my opinion.
From the very opening motif, beautiful. So delicate. And it stays in your head. Tori’s voice: so very delicate, almost childlike, yet so full of feeling and strength. Her internal anguish is so evident in the chorus, “you say that things change, my dear”. The gorgeous orchestration cannot be forgotten either: though the piano accompaniment can hold its own, the Little Earthquakes album version with the strings, horns and drum has a completely seperate dimension that isn’t present in solo performances. The instrumental climax leading to the third verse is breathtaking, and when I play the song on the piano, I always include the part played by the strings and horns, because it just takes me to another place, even higher than the piano part alone.
The lyrics. I can’t even begin to describe their beauty and meaning. The chorus goes like this:
When you gonna love you as much as I do?
When you gonna make up your mind?
Cos things are gonna change so fast
All the white horses are still in bed
You say that things change,
My dear.”
That’s just a snapshot, the imagery used in the verses is fantastic, so evocative. I can’t even talk about it, you have to hear it. I urge you to go and listen to the song if you don’t know it. It is beautiful.
http://www.we7.com/#/song/Tori-Amos/Winter
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