The night John Grant gave me a hug

Sunday 23rd December 2014. I waited in the freezing cold for an hour and a half. But it was worth every second!

We'll start with the concert...

John Grant and the Royal Northern Sinfonia were stunning. I knew before I went that at some point during the night I would be crying. I hadn't counted on it being during nearly every song. The emotion John imbues in his performances is on another level. His barefaced and unashamed honesty hits you like a brick wall, but the poetry of his complex yet straightforward lyrics and music washes over you like a wave. The songs possess a somewhat grandiose quality, greatly enhanced by the orchestra. Evocative and original metaphors give the songs such life. Yet at the same time they are simple, and to the point.

Your silence is a weapon / it's like a nuclear bomb / it's like the Agent Orange they used to use in Vietnam

This pain / It is a glacier moving through you / It's carving out deep valleys / It's creating spectacular landscapes

My love is the rarest jewel and he crowns me with his love / My love, he is rich like caramel and he moves me from above

The entire performance was breathtaking, John's voice is in excellent shape. I know he's a good singer, but his warm tenor was on top form for some heart-stopping high moments and gorgeous melismas. I was on the edge of my seat the whole night. Luckily the lady sat next to me was kind enough to hand me tissues, seeing the emotional wreck next to her wiping his eyes in between songs must have been somewhat strange.

Highlights included some new songs and I was immediately hooked. "Geraldine" transfixed me. Nobody but John could make the word "shit" sound so beautiful. "No More Tangles" also seemed to utterly overcome and transfix everybody in the auditorium with its intensity. The orchestra's rendition of Rachmaninov's Prélude in C sharp minor was just stunning; a fantastic dramatic introduction to "Pale Green Ghosts", which featured otherworldly, almost terrifying, yet dazzling instrumental interplay between the loops and the synths and the orchestra

He played all the songs I was hoping for, it couldn't have been any more perfect. The rawness of "Drug", the pleading of "Vietnam", the rage of "Queen of Denmark", the spectacular climax of "Glacier" (I was made up to see Chris Pemberton play that on piano). He saved my favourite of all until last, I was becoming nervous and almost upset that I might not get to hear it. Then he sat at the piano and began to play "Caramel". I totally lost it, I was sobbing. The song is so beautiful, such a joy and privilege to listen to, but it causes me pain because of what it reminds me of. Although after all is said and done I was overjoyed he played it; it was marvellous, moving and over much too quickly. I sat for a little while as everybody filtered out of the hall to (somewhat unsuccessfully) try and compose myself.

And then meeting John...

It's funny, because I've been saying since I bought the tickets "Wouldn't it be great to meet John? I bet he'd give good hugs!" And then all of a sudden, some time after 11 (my legs could hardly move properly I'd been stood so long) there he was! Only three of us had waited for him, the other two people got some things signed and then he looked at me: I must have still looked a wreck from the concert, he looked right into my eyes, his expression said "are you okay??" I had so much I wanted to say but all I could manage was to thank him for "everything", for "tonight", for his "honesty" and for playing Caramel and how much it meant to me. He thanked me, put his hand out, told me to give him a hug and pulled me into a hug. I'm still on a high now, and I cannot wait for the next record and tour.

There are no men out there who we can relate to like John. I and many others most often have to turn to women to relate to and draw inspiration from. There are so many shallow "role-models" out there. I cannot think of another intelligent, talented, honest and inspirational male public figure among us like John. I can say he is the only artist who I really feel I can relate to and who inspires me to be better, to live and to create. I'm so grateful for his honesty, and for him sharing so much of himself with us. I hope he knows how important what he's doing is

El sol i la lluna

In English this means "The Sun and the Moon". It's a truly magical song, I could never get sick of it. Well, I could never get sick of Maria del Mar Bonet, her voice, her words, her catalan: all utterly gorgeous.

I’m working on translating some of her songs to English. This is gonna be one of the first ones I do (along with No voldria…). The thing with translating music/poetry is it can go a couple of ways: you can either stay true to the meaning of the words, OR, you can create a translation that has a meter or fits with music. I'm going to TRY and create both, if I can. One that translates the MEANING of the words, and one that fits with the MUSIC. But we'll see... I don't think it's very likely that I'll be able to do the music-fitting one, but I'll try. What matters more to me, in any case, is conveying the meaning of the words, so somebody who doesn't understand Catalan can listen to the song, and not only appreciate the beauty of its sounds, but also the meaning of the words.

Hem nascut en mons apart

On la llum cau dels estels, sobre un món empolsegat
s'han trobat els nostres cors, en un pont que hem aixecat.

En aquest temps que ens ha tocat
no serveix la veritat
fem un temps per el nostre amor
ple de vida, entre la mort.

Acompanyem els estels
el camí que hem inventat
el teu cor amb el meu cor
per damunt dels mons apart.

- "Mons apart"
(Traduït per Albert García,
de la cançó "Worlds Apart" per En Bruce Springsteen)

30 Days 30 Songs - Day 1 - Winter

So I’m doing this 30 days 30 songs challenge thing cos I heart music. I’m posting the songs on facebook each day, and then writing a blog about each one, which will probably come sporadically, rather than every day. Anyway, here’s a little about my favourite song:

Winter
(written, composed and performed by Tori Amos, orchestra arranged by John Philip Shenale)

I’m fairly certain this was the first Tori Amos song I heard. It was 2005 and I was in Chemistry class, which was my favourite class because I sat on a bench with my best friends and we always had such a fun time together, and we loved the teacher, who we dubbed “The Party Queen.” Anyway, my best friend had recently started listening to some artist I’d never heard of, who had influenced Amy Lee, called Tori Amos, and she was pretty obsessed with her. So she brought the CD into school with her, big CD walkman and everything (those were the days xD) and told me I HAD to listen. And she’s not the kind of girl you refuse when she tells you you have to do something :P. So I listened, and I was immediately struck by the beauty of the song, which is something that never happens for me on a first listen. I finished listening and told her it was really beautiful.

A few weeks later my friend made me a CD which included some of her favourite Tori tracks, Winter obviously being among them. I listened to that CD so much. She put some of the most gorgeous songs on it. The beauty of many of the earlier compositions and recordings of Tori Amos is indescribable. Winter is the most beautiful of all in my opinion.

From the very opening motif, beautiful. So delicate. And it stays in your head. Tori’s voice: so very delicate, almost childlike, yet so full of feeling and strength. Her internal anguish is so evident in the chorus, “you say that things change, my dear”. The gorgeous orchestration cannot be forgotten either: though the piano accompaniment can hold its own, the Little Earthquakes album version with the strings, horns and drum has a completely seperate dimension that isn’t present in solo performances. The instrumental climax leading to the third verse is breathtaking, and when I play the song on the piano, I always include the part played by the strings and horns, because it just takes me to another place, even higher than the piano part alone.

The lyrics. I can’t even begin to describe their beauty and meaning. The chorus goes like this:
“When you gonna make up your mind?
When you gonna love you as much as I do?
When you gonna make up your mind?
Cos things are gonna change so fast
All the white horses are still in bed
You say that things change,
My dear.”
That’s just a snapshot, the imagery used in the verses is fantastic, so evocative. I can’t even talk about it, you have to hear it. I urge you to go and listen to the song if you don’t know it. It is beautiful.

http://www.we7.com/#/song/Tori-Amos/Winter

BadOut

Yo quiero que tú sufras lo que yo sufro
y aprenderé a rezar para lograrlo
yo quiero que te sientas tan inútil
como un vaso sin whisky entre las manos
y que sientas en tu pecho
el corazón
como si fuera de otro
y te doliera.
yo te deseo la muerte
donde tú estés
y aprenderé a rezar para lograrlo
yo quiero que tú sufras
lo que yo sufro
y aprenderé a rezar
para lograrlo

Yo quiero que te asomes
a cada hora
como un preso asomado
por tu ventana
y que te sean las piedras de la calle
el único paisaje de tus ojos.

yo te deseo la muerte
donde tu estés
por dios que y aprenderé a rezar
para lograrlo.

-Albert Pla "Sufre Como Yo"

Aha

Not being able to say what I really want to say. That's what I'm not liking. Not telling. And also reading crap which I hate but somehow find compelling. You know when you hate something, but just can't stop yourself from being so amazed by it that you continue to watch it? There's just no need to talk rubbish really, is there? No need for lies. No need to say things that have no basis in truth. No need to say things that are just a load of rubbish.

---------------------------

"Tan a prop un dels altres
I estem sols com a casa,
I sempre hi haurà un incendi,
Que mai s’apaga.

I no recordo cap dia
On no hi hagi mentides,
I busco el Nirvana,
I tot passa de llarg...

Sol,
Torno sol,
Quan tomba el sol,
I no m’has mirat
Sempre em passes davant."

-Ivette Nadal

----------------------------

Classic

I forgot the passion I had for Classical music. Well, it's actually mostly Romantic period, but most people know all Baroque, Romantic, Classical and even Modern Period music as "Classical". (I'm so glad for my A-Level in music, it introduced so much to me.)

...When I was young I would spend hours a day listening to it, while I lay in bed...

A friend of mine asked me to make a mix of Classical music I like. I was so excited to do so, so I've been listening to my music like never before. It's been so long since I've really listened to it like this. I wish I had all my CDs. I wish I had a bigger collection of this music, there is so much out there, and so many recordings of the so much that is out there. The mix has turned into a piano-focused one, since that's the kind of music I'm more into, know more about and have more of. I went through a load of recordings and bought some new recordings of pieces I l♥ve... I really love dramatic music, and music with fire. Fire of PASSION, dark fire, the burning flame of love.

Someone give me some money, pleeeease? I NEED to buy more Clara Schumann music, and then pay for some way to have her resurrected from the dead so she can write another piano concerto ♥.

To end, I would ask you to please watch this video, I never get tired of it. Clara Schumann is so overlooked, it is absolutley criminal. If you at all like piano music, dramatic music, or even are just interested in Women's History go listen to her Piano Concerto too. It's amazing (The final movement is so INTENSE, ask me about it, honestly). I do so wish that females weren't so overlooked in musical history. Anyway, here is the video: Rina Cellini playing Clara Schumann's Scherzo no. 2, Op. 14.

Maria del Mar Bonet

She's my favourite musician at the moment.

Her song Estrofa al vent came up on my last.fm and I loved it straight away, so downloaded her album Jardí tancat, since then I've been listening to her on we7 and Spotify. I can't get enough of her voice, and the fantastic soundscapes on her records. When I listen to her I can feel like I am in the Mediterranean, or with other songs, in a grand cathedral hundreds of years ago. She even crosses over to pop and blues with some albums. She is amazing. I don't know why she isn't more popular, she's obviously extremely gifted, I wish her CDs were easier to obtain here. Maybe when I move to Catalonia I'll be able to get my hands on more :D

La seva cançó Estrofa al vent es va reproduir al meu last.fm i em va encantar immediatment, doncs vaig descarregar el seu disc Jardí tancat, i des de aquest moment he estat escoltant a ella a we7 i Spotify. No puc escoltar prou a la seva veu i els sons fantàstics dels seus discos. Quan escolto a ella puc sentir com si jo estigui al Mediterrani, o amb altres cançons, com si estigui en una catedral grandiosa fa cents d'anys. Travessa a pop i blues en uns discos. Ella és excepcional. No sé perquè no és més popular, és evident que és una dona amb molt i molt talent, espero que els seus discos eren més fàcil a obtenir aquí. Potser que quan em traslladi a Catalunya en podré obtenir més.

On heavy rotation

So recently I discovered this amazing musician/poet called Ivette Nadal. One of her songs came up on my last.fm and I just loved it so I went to find more to listen to and she is amazing. She's of the acoustic guitar singer/song-writer sort of style, I guess you would say, and I don't usually go for that sort of style, where guitar is so prominent. But anyway, I really really really like her.

I realised last week how amazing Vanessa Carlton's Be Not Nobody CD really is. I listened from Rinse onwards and it was a wonderful experience. She is a talented musician.

Sharon Hopkins - If You Could Hie to Kolob - Magic.

I cannot get Barbra Streisand singing People out of my head, it's going round and round and round, and I keep bursting out singing it.

So This is Love from Cinderella is also in my head, I really just do not know why.

I feel stronger now

I hate being ill! Monday I felt so awful, I just stayed in bed all day, I was so ill I missed out on our weekly ASDA trip.

:'(

That's right, that's how ill i was... too ill to go to ASDA.

Luckily I was better by Tuesday, ready for my lovely 9 o'clock class, which was all about words to do with pleasure and happiness. There was something which made me very uncomfortable about the prospect of discussing how intense I think orgasme is on a scale of 1-9 with my French writing tutor...

Catalan class was pretty cool on Tuesday too (despite the fact that we had an aural test which involved transcribing phone numbers which were said ridiculously quickly, and two phone calls from two guys with different names who sounded suspiciously alike...). Anyway, our tutor told us about a gig in Manchester by some Catalan band called Manel and asked us if we wanted to go along with her, so me and a couple of friends have said we'll go. It's next Wednesday (17-2-10), the day before I go and see GaGa (soooo excited for that), it should be a right laugh, we've decided to scream "MOLT BE" (very good) and "TREU-TE ELS PANTALONS" (take off your trousers) to them, hopefully we won't embarass our tutor too much!

Also did the workout on Tuesday. I find a great satisfaction in becoming more and more flexible, I always have, there's just something about being able to reach my chest to to my knee sat in straddle position that I find satisfying. I'm proud to say that I'm becoming "flexy" again. I'm also noticing a difference in how easy I find it to do the actual workout, not that I find it particularly easy, but it's getting less difficult to do, so i'm getting fitter. Yay!

Today I'm listening to some old Lady GaGa stuff: The Stefani Germanotta Band's Red and Blue EP. I'm liking it, I also got some remixes to listen to, it's ages since I got a remix single, so it'll be cool to listen to, gotta love the sick beatzzz hahaha!

The Mystic's Dream

A clouded dream on an earthly night
Hangs upon the crescent moon
A voiceless song in an ageless light
Sings at the coming dawn
Birds in flight are calling there
Where the heart moves the stones
It's there that my heart is calling
All for the love of you

A painting hangs on an ivy wall
Nestled in the emerald moss
The eyes declare a truce of trust
And then it draws me far away
Where deep in the desert twilight
Sand melts in pools of the sky
When darkness lays her crimson cloak
Your lamps will call me home

And so it's there my homage's due
Clutched by the still of the night
And now I feel you move
Every breath is full
So it's there my homage's due
Clutched by the still of the night
Even the distance feels so near
All for the love of you.
- "The Mystic's Dream" by Loreena McKennitt -


This is one of my favourite songs of all time. The soundscape is so indescribably lavish it gives me butterflies just thinking of adjectives to describe the lush instrumentation and production. The text also enchants me. Even the title, "The Mystic's Dream" draws me in, and from the first seconds of music I am completely and utterly captivated. Loreena's music takes me to another world. There's nobody like her.

Moving

This is one of my favourite shots on film ever:



It moves me in ways I find difficult to describe.
The most evident symbol to me is washing, the symbolic washing oneself of people and things and beginning anew.
I also see pressure, water falling like a ton of bricks, crushing, even destruction.
And so much more I can't describe.
Seeing this shot gives me butterflies.
It brings me to a place where I feel as though I am on the verge of tears, just not quite.
It has never left me.

How I'm moved.
How you move me
With your beauty's potency.
You give me life.
Please don't let me go.
You crush the lily in my soul.

Please be.
save me.
I CRY.

Out into a cold world

Today I went out for the first time in almost a week, the cabin fever was getting the better of me... My loan had come in and I needed FOOD!!!

I wrapped up nice and warm, two layers on bottom and four on top, kept me nice and toasty whilst I was out. My strategy to avoid possible slipping out on my street was to exit my house via the back alley, where it's less steep and less icy, so I went out and tried to open the back gate. Would it budge? No! So I returned to the house to fetch a bottle of hot water to pour over the frozen lock and this had no effect on my ability to open it. So this meant I had to either climb over the wall or use the front door. Obviously I wasn't going to climb over my snowy wall. Luckily I didn't slip and die as I set foot out the door and carefully tread over the ice to get to the road, where it's safer. As I walked down the road I was filled with terror as I felt as though I couldn't control my speed and I would suddenly fall and die. Luckily I didn't. It got easier to walk as I got closer to the city centre and the paths in the square were even gritted! In the centre it was all fine, and I finally spent my HMV gift card. That's right, I acquired THE FAME MONSTER. SO happy! :D

After this purchase it was time for me to go and buy a bus pass in order that I can travel around the bay during the term. Bang goes eighty quid of my loan, but so worth it. I waited around in the bus station in the queue waiting for the bus to ASDA, listening to the conversations of the simple folk. Some guy seemed to feel the need to express everything he said at least twice...
Man: "it's at 56"
Man: "it comes at 56 past"
...
Man: "there's still ten minutes"
Woman: "yeah, cos it's at 56..."
He the proceded to complain about the electronic timetable/clock thing in the bus station with an argument that made no sense to me, what he said was a terrible idea and I really felt like saying this to him, but I held back. It's quite strange being outside and not having music in my ears, I need new headphones... anyone wanna buy me some Lady GaGa ones?

So eventually I made it to ♥ASDA♥. It felt like coming home. It was lovely and warm in there, I knew where everything was, everything I wanted was there, and it was all at a reasonable price. By the time I'd got round the store I felt like my arms were going to drop off as the handles of my basket bent under the sheer bulk of the items I was purchasing. I got lotssss of lovely food, my only regret is that I didn't have enough room/strength to carry a cake... I really wanted a cake. But with my three plastic bags and a rucksack full of stuff I was happy, and I at least got cookies, so all is good!

I slipped a couple of times on the way back home from town, but I didn't fall and made it back safely. Put all my lovely shopping away and discovered that I had, of course, chosen a tub of hair stuff with a hole in the bottom... I've patched it up with some tape so hopefully that'll do the trick, just a little annoying really. I felt better though when I warmed up a double chocolate chip cookie and ate it up. So moist! ^_^

Most of my Christmas money is gone... the same thing that happens each year has occured: I've frittered it away on music. I *do* love my music though. I bought a few random tracks and an album called Ultimate Disney Princess which is just amazing> I've been listening to them all all the time.

I really ought to do some uni work, so I think I will do some tomorrow. And also, my housemate should be coming back tomorrow, so I won't be all alone any more, YAY!!! Hopefully I'm gonna get into a normal sleeping pattern soon too, oh gosh, and I really need to look at my timetable for uni. I've been putting it off because I'm afraid I shall burst into tears upon looking at it! Well, I gotta do it sometime...